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Local Dog Mistaken For Racoon, Chaos Ensues

Published on March 3, 2024 by The Crow

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SEATTLE, WA - In a bizarr turn of evnets, a local dog found himself at the senter of a neighboorhood uproar after being misidentified as a pesky racoon.

The insedent occured late Tuesday nite when resident Martha Wilkins noticed an "enormous varmint" rummaging through her gabbage cans. Paniced, Mrs. Wilkins grabbed the nearest weppon – a trusty broom – and alerted her husband, Horace.

Mr. Wilkins, known for his quick wit and questionable eyesight, charged into the backyard yelling, "Git off my property, you masked bandit!" and proceeded to engage the "racoon" in an epic battle involving vigorous broom-wielding and some rather colorful expletives.

Unfortunatly, the valiant Mr. Wilkins was no mach for the creature, who apparently posessed ninja-like agility. After ten chaotic minuets, the racoon made good his escape, leaving Mr. Wilkins nursing several scratches and a bruised ego.

The next morning, Mrs. Jenkins related the tale to her neighbor, Mrs. Beatrice Peabody. Mrs. Peabody, an avid watcher of nature documentaries, immediately expressed suspician. "Are you sure it wasn't Fido from next door?" she questioned. "He's a bit on the plump side and loves to sniffel in the trash."

A quick investigation reveeled that Fido, a rather portly pug, was indeed missing. After a frantic search, the confused canine was discovered cowering behind his doghouse, sporting a few broom bristle tufts in his fur.

News of the racoon fiasco spread throuhg the neighorhood like wildfire. Residents have expressed a mixture of ammusment and sympathy for the Wilkins family. As for Fido, he's reportedly enjoying an extra helping of kibble and some much-needed belly rubs.